Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Reflection About My Direction

Just 2 months ago i had to wake up a buddy, pull on shoes and a sweatshirt and stumble through the
darkness under a star filled sky to get to an out house with a broken door and a hole in the ground to use the bathroom at night. Just 2 months ago, I was constantly nervous about and occasionally saw snakes, tarantulas and giant ants that hiss. I could only drink bottled water and there wasn't a grocery store or McDonald's in sight. Trips were made on dirt and gravel roads and I was constantly met with communication barriers. At the end of the day I was exhausted, and dirty and desperate for a hot shower, that wasn't an option. Just 2 months ago, everyday was a challenge and everyday had a purpose. Just 2 months ago I spoke words of life, continued learning and held orphans. 2 months ago i was committed to letting God guide and use me, staying attentive to his call and slowly falling in love with his word. That was where I was at just 2 months ago.
When I lay in bed trying to fall asleep but instead I'm reminded of a moments, someones face or a story, something that proves to me I was really there. I can't help but be shocked by where I was, a place I never thought I could be and then shocked even more at where i am now, a place dangerously close to where i left. AMAZING things happened, and I saw God's POWER, so how can I slip back into the same routine? How can i Continue to be a zombie at school or struggle to have my quiet times? If you asked me if I had changed, I would point to the things that have things searching for leadership positions in my church and different ministry opportunities. These differences are great, and should in no way be discredited but I've simply realized that I still have a long way to go.  2 months ago was a taste, a sneak peak of what life can be like, now i just have to pursue it.  Where will you be in 2 months?

1 comment:

  1. This is super abstract. It's odd comparing different images of yourself throughout life. I'm glad you're thinking about this, Cel! It's an important part to spiritual growth. After a trip like that, some things are different about us, while others stay exactly the same. I know Mexico put my life in a different perspective! We just need to make sure that the good things are what stay and ask God what we need to be rid of. I see the same passion in you as before, but something is different about it now. Keep persuing God's will,and keep that burning passion for sharing His love with others. We all have a while to go, and I'm glad I can be a part of this journey with you :)